Facebook - En'sai'clopedia

Disclaimer: This is only meant foe entertainment purposes and isn't meant to hurt any sentiments.I'm an active Facebook user FYI.

Early Days:

Facebook is the most used social networking site.The name was given by its founder "Mr. Mark Zuckier... Whateva". At an early age he believed that faces are nothing but books which can be read and understood without any personal interaction.By the growing years, he was deprived attention and remained a geek so as to connect the whole world through faces and books.Realizing his dream at an early age of 21 became his foremost importance in life and probably for the whole world.It was rumored that during his college, he barely attended any class.(It is necessary to point out that he had diarrhea problems from a very young age of 5, so it is not to be confused with smartness) . He later on went on to launch "the-Facebook" thinking of it as more of a movie rather than a website.

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What is Facebook?

It is a place where people come and post stuff, imagining themselves to be gods,but end up being jackasses.It is constitutes the following

New feed:

Where people get to see what their friends are up to.Usually, it is spammed with trolls which don't make sense, some do, but they get pushed down by status spams.

Status:

This is the place where the user writes something that has made his/herday.While some retards often use it as blogs, updating their status every 2 minutes,others have a more advanced idea to overcome this retard-ness,they believe that photo blogging on Facebook makes a greater impression and a better way to get rid of retard-ness.

In a survey conducted by NY Times.It was found that in majority of people, their mobile camera was replaced by their 2 eyeballs,to make the uploading and sharing easier and more convenient for the retard. In another survey, it was found that a user had memory loss of what he was eating.Doctors believe that, the user's brain was so focused on taking pictures that his glans medulla of the cortex wasn't able to record what he was eating.

Profile pic:

This area is often adorned with Photoshopped pictures of the retard (user). Even though its a mystery how the user actually looks in realty, it can be said with enough assurance that its a "Homosapien" using that account.

Cover Picture:

This was added recently by Facebook.The Marketing Director "Miss. Condellina Beitch" said that, "Since users love their profiles pics more than their lives,it became eminent for us to include another spot instead of the profile pic, to showcase the user's Photoshopping ability."

Rules on Facebook

Any person is bound to use these rules intuitionaly or happened to read this guide in his previous life.

1. Never post a status without smilies.If you do post one, you will be subjected to Facebook Courtesy procedure under Section 64, 8 C 1B.An ideal status "should" and "would" look like this:

"Write something that people don't give a shit about.. Blah.. Blah.. >>Smiley Spam here<< .. Use some crazy font .. :-P;-D;-) πŸ˜€ :-'( :-'( πŸ™ :-|"

2. You do not simply like a photo.Even if you DO NOT like it,there isn't an Unlike button, to show how much it sucks.So do not press the "Like" button by mistake.

3. The comment section hasn't have any elaborate any rules apart from Section: Facebook Smiles ,43 B.Where it states that, the use of "Aww,Cho sweet and a bunch of other words like πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ :O B-)X-(:-VO:-)O:-)O:-)" must be used.The later is for the male sex and the former for the female.

4. Nothing should be uploaded in its pristine form.It was claimed by a few retards that they didn't get enough "likes" for the original compared to the edited one.And hence Facebook enforced this law under its constitution that "Either look hot or make yourself hot (below 2 MB)"

5. Make your pose the most unnatural way possible and make sure you show that it was accidental shot.

6. Deactivate your Facebook account if your on it for at least 9 hours a day.And return to Facebook with much more charisma the next day. Tip: Post another of your Photoshopped images. Though several rules have been stated under the preamble of Facebook users.These simple rules will help u become a retard in just a few days.

Peace...

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